Slave To Thought

It’s that time once again. Long holidays.

After 9 months of school and a grueling final exam, the thought of 3 plus months without a shred of school work seemed appealing. I mean, waking up after 9 am, sitting on the computer writing, designing and playing Batman: Arkham Origins. However, a week into it and I already miss school (and the financial security that comes with it).

I school far away from where I live. Approximately 525km away(326.22 miles for you Americans). Therefore, most of my friends are inaccessible when I’m on holiday. There’s no one to call over or just abruptly go and startle with an impromptu visit.The feeling of being alone starts to creep in.Even though when I was at school, I’d sometimes wish for the simplicity of being alone. You know, to think. But now, I miss that crazy bunch who made life a bit more closer to the edge.

Then there is the monetary issue. When on holiday your broke 95% of the time. And being as materialistic as I am, that doesn’t sit well with my wants and needs. You might say, “Well, get a part time job.” In a third world country, getting a part-time job thanks to the levels of unemployment is not that easy. Not that  won’t try getting one, God knows I’ll try everything. I mean that’s what it is all about- being young.

This is the time we are supposed to be unafraid to try and fail. This is that time where you can fail with little consequences as opposed to when you are older and have a family depending on you. If your business idea flops now, that is just a learning experience. And the way I see it, it is kind of publicity. The people you will have worked with will now know your name; even if it is because of failing miserably.

There’s no such thing as bad publicity except your own obituary.

                                                                                                                -Brendan Behan.

Nevertheless, I am not as fearless as I wish I was. I am afraid to fail; afraid to be lesser than what everyone thinks of me.

And afraid that this fear will hold me back from my full potential.



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On a totally unrelated topic, I’ll be adding some music at the end or beginning of each future post from little known artists that I think correspond to the feeling of the post. Feel free to suggest some good music from any genre in the comments box, cause t is al about supporting talent.


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